City of London to Go it Alone as Corporation Seeks Independence from London

News has emerged over the last few days of a shake-up in the City of London. The Occupied Times of London has learned that there have been ‘advanced discussions’ within the upper echelons of the City of London Corporation about moving towards independent statehood. The City of London already holds city status, but is set to legally formalise its independence from London as the first step in becoming totally independent from England and the UK in a similar fashion to Monaco, San Marino and The Vatican. Plans to make the City autonomous are thought to have come about due to widescale discontent among City workers, precipitated by the Occupy movement’s targeting of them.

A source privy to these discussions has told the OT: “They don’t seem to care about the fact that having a nation-state to bail you out is a pretty cushy deal. They’re just incensed about how demonised ‘wealth creators’ are in the UK and how repressive the 45p top rate tax band is.” One City chief executive was overheard muttering: “We’re being treated like Jews in Germany before 1939 and we must act pre-emptively if we’re to escape a similar fate.

The exact form this move will take is unclear but it is likely the Vatican City will be seen as a blueprint. The Catholic Church, a slightly younger and more democratic institution than the City, broke away from Italy in 1929 and – despite being a tiny enclave wholly surrounded by Rome – is a totally independent state. The City’s local authority, the City of London Corporation, is already unique in the United Kingdom. It holds some unusual responsibilities for a local authority and has its own territorial police force, the City of London Police. The Corporation is headed by the Lord Mayor of the City of London, currently Alderman David Wootton, and has responsibilities and ownerships beyond the City’s boundaries.

Constitutional experts imagine that the Lord Mayor of London will assume the proto-monarchical role held by the Pope but that he will be held democratically accountable by a new institution, ‘The Bankers’ Council for Democratic Legitimacy’. This body will be constituted of elected executives from the City’s major global investment banks whose seats on the council will be proportionate to the number of human lives they’ve destroyed. Sources close to London Mayor Boris Johnson have said he is a firm supporter of the plans to separate the City from London, and may look to take on the alternative mayoral role should he lose the upcoming election.

Of course, like the Vatican with its Swiss Guards, the City already has its own police force which is set to exponentially increase in numbers under the new format, in addition to being given additional powers and a “significant weapons upgrade.” Current residents of ‘The Square Mile’ have told the OT that there has been little open discussion about these constitutional changes. Unhappy residents say officials have told them that they are only unhappy because they “don’t understand the proposals.”

The Occupied Times has seen some of these proposals. They include aspects likely to be controversial, for example a large wall will be constructed around the perimeter of the City and “bank account checks” will be conducted at the checkpoints whereby only individuals with over £140,000 may enter. Residents and workers who conduct menial jobs in the City will be branded with the Corporation’s logo on the palm of their hand to ensure easy access.

Taxes will be “as close to 0 as possible” and any services needed will be provided through philanthropic funds. It is believed that this bold, revolutionary approach towards taxation is already being eyed jealously by financial innovators such as Jersey, the Cayman Islands, Switzerland and Delaware. It’s a case of ‘watch this space’ on the ongoing race to find the most efficient system to marry capitalism and democracy. The City is once again proving itself a world leader in this field.

It remains to be seen what this means for the wider UK, with the huge loss of revenue it will suffer.

An activist group calling themselves the “Socialist Anarchist Nexus of Evil” or ‘SANE’ have told the OT they see this as an opportunity to revolutionise the system and make the economy ecologically sustainable and socially beneficial to the majority. A representative from SANE, thought to be a sub-group of the London Occupy movement, said, “Good riddance to them. We don’t want to have to pay for any more bailouts, but they should pay back the money from the last one before they go it alone.”