NADSYUK Report on Intangibles

Sunlight has dropped three points since the autumnal equinox, and conservative analysts predict a steady fall until the beginning of the next financial year. Prana and orgone have increased steadily in the same period, whilst chi continues to fall with the exception of kidney chi, which remained static.

The sharp fall in the market value of mojo shows no sign of abating. Most experts blame this on the outsourcing of talent to the intangible commodities firm Barlow, Cowell & Cole, which continues with its aggressive takeover of popular culture. Meanwhile traders have linked umph, chutzpah, pizzazz and verve into a commodity bundle to prevent similar devaluations across the spectrum of zeal derivatives.

Traders around the British Isles and its tax havens dumped their stock of hooray and wow after the Olympics, as expected. The conservatives among them have tended to favour meh, which is expected to rise slowly for at least the next three quarters, whilst more daring investors looking for quicker returns are opting for whoops, OMG, and bejeeeezus.

The annual spike in heebie-jeebies came and went at the end of October, and futures traders have already dominated the market on goodwill, cheer, and festive spirit in the run-up to Christmas.

By Nev Remu